The other day, I was studying Vector calculus, multiple integration and stuff. I came across a small infinitesimal cube dV in a sphere, which had to be integrated to get its volume. The sphere was not any rectangular cuboid and so any numerical method adopted to calculate its volume would generate a certain error ΔV. I was wondering about all this and suddenly, my mind wandered to those days….. Shashank was explaining the concept of integration to Avdhut and me: “Man is not perfect; God is. So God has given us the process of integration – to incorporate the error of summation”.
With these thoughts, I had the realization that things have changed a lot…time will always change. Gone are the days when we like-minded friends used to discuss the most interesting of things in the world… Those topics ranged from Discovery channel to CS to simple mathematics to Sensex to guns and lot more. ‘The fairer sex’ was a topic we hardly ever indulged upon. Most things we discussed were the intricacies that the world was made up of. Shashank was full of ingenuity and creativity and had an ultimate power in visualizing things that kept his mind always busy. Pushkar was in himself an personification of zeal and energy; a person deeply interested in what he is interested. And I had always loved to relish the harmony of mathematics.
Those days are long gone. They’ll never be back. How I wish…. And now I’m alone. Still worse; with a bunch of bloody hypocrites besides me. These fools haven’t had the divine realization of the necessity of purpose. “What is the purpose?” is the eternal question to be asked. I guess we (that includes my elite friends) had had the answer to it. Guess, we reviewed the answers periodically.
My only hope is that I don’t change myself and my interests to go with these hypocrites. I am different. I have to survive this flow of insane purposeless thoughts. I must create a league of my own. Fight. Fight till the end. I’ve read somewhere –
Only dead fish flow with the current. I’m not dead yet.

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